Bigger Than You
by EDFOD
Summary: dunno where it came from. rated for slight language on my part, and...erm...implications. might turn into a series of oneshots, depending if you guys like it enough. FLAMES WELCOME!
1. It Begins

EDFOD: I don't know where the hell this came from.

Lucas: cause yur a perv

EDFOD: NO! well…. NOT ALL THE TIME!

Lucas: Whatever you say…. Perv.

EDFOD: SHUT UP AND SAY THE DICLAIMER ALREADY!

Lucas: fine; **_EDFOD does not own the Harry Potter series. But she does own 2 HP posters, copies of all 4 movies, copies of all 6 books _**((HARDBACK BIATCH!))**_, the 3rd book on tape, and has eaten more chocolate frogs than she can count._**

((Author's Rambles))

Bigger Than You

It was just another day in Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, when Hermione Granger and Ginevra Weasley (Ginny for short) decided to visit their friends Harry Potter and Ron Weasley, down on the Quidditch pitch. Practice had already ended, so they decided to head towards the locker room. When they arrived there, they overheard someone talking.

"What are you talkin' 'bout mate?"

"That sounded like Ronald!" Hermione whispered loudly. ((how do you do that?))

"Why is yours' bigger?" Hermione and Ginny's faces went pale.

"T-That s-sounded l-like H-Harry!" Ginny squeaked.

"If you think Ron's is big, check out mine!"

"That sounded like Dean!?!" Hermione whispered. Ginny's face turned beat red.

"WOW!" Three voices sounded in unison.

"I'll ask again, why is everybody's bigger than mine!?!" Harry's voice sounded exasperated.

"Ah, don't worry Harry. Look at Seamus'!"

"No wonder he can't get anythin' done." Ron chuckled out.

"OI! Mine is plenty big enough! Bloody assholes.((omg that sounded wrong XD))" Hermione passed out from blood-loss at this point. Her head knocking against the door.

" 'Mione? Gin? What are you guys doing here?" Ginny looked up horrified at her brother. Only to notice that he was fully clothed and holding his wand. ((the wooden one you effing pervs!))

"WANDS! YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT WANDS!?!" Ginny promptly passed out next to Hermione.

"Geez, what did she think we were talking about?" Dean questioned.

"Dunno, bloody girls are crazy." Ron answered stepping over the girls' bodies.

"You got that right mate." Harry added, following after him.

"That's why I don't date." Seamus said haughtily.

"Oh, I thought it was 'cause you were flaming gay." Ron commented dryly. Everyone chortled, except for Seamus of course.

"Well that too." Seamus replied with a grin.

"WHAT!?!"

"Kidding!"

EDFOD: O.o OMG! I feel so dirty.

Lucas: O.O I didn't expect that!

EDFOD: I don't know where it came from!?! Someone help my brain!

Lucas: I think you dirtied the minds of small children.

EDFOD: oh puh-sha, their minds were already dirty!

Lucas: Review and maybe she'll gain SOME sanity.

EDFOD: oh that's right! My story **_Of Rain Drops and White Lights_**, is tied again so you have to go review that! Adios!

Lucas: Sayonara!


	2. Part Duex

EDFOD: Yola HO-las! What it do? jk. I am back baby! Yesh, I'm aware that I need to update a bazillion other things… but this perverted thing popped into my head. That and I'm sick…very, very, DEATHLY ill. So ya. BUT, it 'tis summer vacation and I will hopefully be able to update everything else. So, without further ado, I bring you…this thing.

**Disclaimer: I no own, if I did, some things wouldn't have happened in the books. That is all.**

* * *

Bigger Than You: Part Duex 

Harry and Ron were thoroughly exhausted after Quidditch practice, but the girls (i.e. Ginny, Hermione, Luna, Katie, Angelina, Lavender, and the Parvati Twins) had invited all of the boys to a party at the Room of Requirement. They had been really shady on what it was for, but Seamus thought it had something to do with Halloween, seeing as how it was just around the corner.

"Harry, mate, I think we're the first ones here!" Ron whined, dragging his feet across the ground.

"Oh well…and stop whining, you sound like a girl." Harry quipped. The duo then proceeded to walk back and forth in front of the tapestry of the "ballerina ogres" waiting for the door. Well… the door appeared all right, but the boys could hear loud girlish giggles inside, so they pressed their ears to the door to listen.

"Won't the boys be so surprised!" A cheerful voice squealed, it sounded suspiciously like Lavender.

"They sure as hell should be, mine still hurt!" Another voice groaned.

"Oh Angelina, stop being so negative." This voice sounded a lot like Ginny.

"I wonder what they're talking about." Ron whispered, pressing his ear closer to the door.

"Well if you'd shut your CAKE HOLE. Maybe we could hear better." Harry whispered vehemently back. **((A/N: I SO don't own that 'cake hole' thing, I got it from Supernatural. YAY DEAN!))**

"Oh Hermione! How did you get yours so ROUND?" A voice, most likely Parvati, squealed.

"Those are SO fake!" Angelina stated.

"Angelina! Don't be so mean!" Katie reprimanded.

"I'm serious! She must have used a spell! Nobody's can be that big and round!"

Harry and Ron's faces looked stunned **((A/N: tee-hee. they looked like this O.o))**. They both pressed their ears closer, intent on hearing more.

"They look _soft_…can I touch them?" Luna's dreamy voice asked. The boys were listening with rapt attention now.

"Ya, sure. Go ahead."

"I CAN'T TAKE THE IMAGES! MY BRAIN! AH!" Ron fell backward screaming, rubbing his eyes. "MY EYES! MY EYES!"

"Sh! They're going to hear…you." Harry looked up at the door to see the girls crowed there. _**With. Princess. Leia. Buns.**_

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME!" Harry then promptly face-palmed and fell backward.

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EDFOD: Yesh, the second part is done. There will be **NO MORE CHAPTERS**! This was it. I'm pretty sure I spelt 'Leia' wrong, but oh well.

_**REVIEW MY MINIONS! REVIEW AND GET A COOKIE!**_


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